This Christmas eve, I went to church twice, once in the morning as usual, and once in the evening with my family. Interestingly enough, both sermons were about wonder, and not losing the wonder of Christmas. Interesting again, because Joanna had just finished commenting the past Friday night about how crazy and amazing Christmas is, and how it's really kind of crazy to believe in some of the things we believe in. God coming down and becoming flesh? Kind of weird and yet wonderful at the same time.
At this point, I knew that God was trying to get a point across to me, but I've been too tired and kind of emotionally disconnected lately. It just seemed like too much work to try and wrap my head around wonder, when I had a hard enough time wrapping my head around wrapping the presents and catching up with people who were in town and the fact that I had to go to work every day in the past few weeks except Christmas Day.
The other thing that has also been in the back of my mind lately is Advent and waiting for things. I've been really frustrated lately waiting for things. It seems like I have a desire for certain things and God's placed that desire in my heart for a long time, but it just isn't happening. I can try to make it happen or try not to make it happen, but it just doesn't happen. And so I work myself up over it. Or there are other things that I know God has called me to, but I just can't see how they are going to work out. And again I fret and get upset, because I know I should just be patient and pray about it, but getting tired of not seeing immediate results.
This morning though, God gave me little glimpses and little answers to some of the wonder and waiting issue. On my way to church, I heard a sermon from last week on the radio. When I watched the movie the nativity story, the part that really got me was the part about the shepherds. And this morning on the radio, they repeated the story from Luke, and the part about the shepherds got me again. There they were, minding their own business and the sheep, and the angel of the Lord came, and the glory of the Lord shown around them! And the angels brought them good tidings of great joy, that to them a Savior had been born, who is Christ the Lord! And then, to top it off, the angels had to tell the shepherds how to recognize him - you will find him wrapped in cloth, lying in a manger?! And at the end, the shepherds went through the village telling people about the amazing things they had seen and heard. Wow, what a wonder-full thing that had happened! Can you imagine? Being a shepherd and believing this crazy thing enough to go and see it, and then to tell others about it. What a wonder.
During the church service this morning, someone shared during the sharing time about how they had been looking for and praying for a building for a rescue mission in Scranton. Finally, after two years, it's purchased and open. In talking about the New Year, a guy said that we think about a New Year and what we would like to get done in the next year, etc... But God is infinite, and he's outside of time and thinks about time differently. So when we don't see the immediate fruits of our prayers, we get upset. But God is still working in that time. It's actually pretty amazing. Perhaps while we are being faithful, God is working in someone else's heart so that they will do what he has called them to do. Perhaps they are stalling, or aren't hearing God's voice. Yet the God of the universe, who could strong-arm them into doing what he wanted, waits patiently for them to hear his voice and respond. And only then, can all the pieces come together to bring to fruition the prayers of his people.
So I don't know what this means for the New Year. I don't know if it's going to make it any easier in those moments where I just wish God would hear my prayer and answer it. But it is reminding me to watch for the wonder of God working in my heart and mind and to treasure those "God-moments" where I can see his hand at work.
To Him be the glory, for ever and ever, amen.
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