I've been pretty frustrated at some things the past few weeks, and a multitude of seemingly little things from many people have added up to the point of boiling over. Plus God has been asking me to persevere in several areas of my life. Somehow I just didn't get the obvious - perseverance is HARD. I want to give up most of the time or just have the problem go away or be solved. I recently got to the point where all of this built up junk just boiled over. Kind of like a pipe that had a bunch of crud stuck in it, and when the pressure builds up too much it just explodes, showering the mess everywhere and covering everyone in the immediate area with rust and junk and gook, and it's not a pretty sight.
In trying to deal with myself and my attitude when I got to that boiling point, I realized that instead of turning to someone else for help and advice (and covering them with muck and gook), I needed to turn to God first. Not necessarily my first choice, since the results sometimes aren't immediate, and he tells you things you already know but don't want to hear. I ended up in Galatians and read Galatians 5. It starts off with that stuff I knew but didn't want to hear - stuff like "who bewitched you and caused you to fall away" and keeping on in the faith even though it goes against our fleshly nature.
But then I read the part about the fruits of the spirit. I've read it many times, but somehow in this situation, I looked at it a little bit differently. I usually don't like to work on these, because we usually pick one fruit, say patience, and then try to become patient in every area of our lives. And of course that doesn't work, so we give up or move on. This time though, I was so overwhelmed by all the stuff going on that I had to focus on just one situation. And guess what. I needed ALL of these fruits to deal with that situation. But somehow the situation became more manageable, because I broke it down into parts and specific ways in which I could exhibit the fruits of the spirit. And God is not calling me to change anything about the situation, he's calling me to exhibit the fruits of the spirit even though I'm mad and frustrated and upset.
So my prayer is: "Father, help me to LOVE even though I've been hurt. Help me to have JOY even though my day is kind of rotten. May I have your PEACE even though I'm upset and frustrated. May I have PATIENCE to walk with you until the end of the situation. May I be KIND towards those who have hurt me, possibly without even knowing it. May I desire GOOD and not evil and be FAITHFUL to continue to work towards reconciliation and resolution. May my words be GENTLE and my actions SELF-CONTROLLED, even though I may want to react in anger and from frustration. Because I belong to you, Christ Jesus, and I have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since I live by the Spirit, help me to walk in your Spirit."
In trying to deal with myself and my attitude when I got to that boiling point, I realized that instead of turning to someone else for help and advice (and covering them with muck and gook), I needed to turn to God first. Not necessarily my first choice, since the results sometimes aren't immediate, and he tells you things you already know but don't want to hear. I ended up in Galatians and read Galatians 5. It starts off with that stuff I knew but didn't want to hear - stuff like "who bewitched you and caused you to fall away" and keeping on in the faith even though it goes against our fleshly nature.
But then I read the part about the fruits of the spirit. I've read it many times, but somehow in this situation, I looked at it a little bit differently. I usually don't like to work on these, because we usually pick one fruit, say patience, and then try to become patient in every area of our lives. And of course that doesn't work, so we give up or move on. This time though, I was so overwhelmed by all the stuff going on that I had to focus on just one situation. And guess what. I needed ALL of these fruits to deal with that situation. But somehow the situation became more manageable, because I broke it down into parts and specific ways in which I could exhibit the fruits of the spirit. And God is not calling me to change anything about the situation, he's calling me to exhibit the fruits of the spirit even though I'm mad and frustrated and upset.
So my prayer is: "Father, help me to LOVE even though I've been hurt. Help me to have JOY even though my day is kind of rotten. May I have your PEACE even though I'm upset and frustrated. May I have PATIENCE to walk with you until the end of the situation. May I be KIND towards those who have hurt me, possibly without even knowing it. May I desire GOOD and not evil and be FAITHFUL to continue to work towards reconciliation and resolution. May my words be GENTLE and my actions SELF-CONTROLLED, even though I may want to react in anger and from frustration. Because I belong to you, Christ Jesus, and I have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since I live by the Spirit, help me to walk in your Spirit."
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