Rhythm

It's been kind of a crazy week. I was gone to DC for a conference with work last Saturday through Wednesday morning, so the rest of my week has been trying to sort through the many miscellaneous tasks on my to-do list. Stuff like: unpack, go to lab, pack lab since it's moving, prepare experiments, feed my "children", get ready for lab meeting, grocery shop (it's been about a month), oil change, wash dishes, catch up with my brother who came into town, mow lawn, etc... And when I have a lot going on, I tend to think more for some reason. So there's been a lot of stuff on my mind, not bad, just trying to figure out how everything fits together.

Since I missed church last week and this week has been kinda busy, I prayed this morning that church would be really meaningful. I especially missed the songs - I always like worship, especially if there's a really good beat or you can clap and get into the songs. Church this Sunday was Youth Sunday, meaning that the service was entirely designed and run by the youth group. So the songs were upbeat, but there were about 3 electric guitars and lots of technical difficulties with the media presentations and song slides, and everything. I also think I'm getting old, because I wished it wasn't so loud, and that there was less distortion in the electric guitars! Anyhow, that's beside the point.

Toward the end of the service, I was kind of wondering if I'd get anything out of it after all, and feeling bad that I felt like I had to get something out of it. After all, the youth worked hard, and obviously put thought into it. The service was almost over, and then they showed a Rob Bell film called Rhythm. If you haven't seen any Rob Bell/Nooma films, you really should. They are great. Anyway, this film is about having a relationship with God, and what that looks like. It starts out with part of an orchestra practicing a song in an empty auditorium. While I don't remember most of what Rob Bell said in the film, it's ok, because I had my "ah ha" moment after all. It was like everything I had been thinking about and processing lately suddenly fell into place, into a framework where it all made sense.

One of the things I had been thinking about was how to explain free will vs. God's control of our life to a non-Christian. I was asked that recently, and asked to explain the fact that these two ideas seem mutually exclusive. I came up with a satisfactory answer at the time, but wanted a better analogy. So this morning, it kind of came to me. It's like the orchestra. God is the conductor, and often times the composer of the music. We are the members of the orchestra - God has given us all different instruments, and we have a choice as to whether or not we want to join the orchestra. Once we join, we agree to follow the conductor who will lead us, joining the separate parts and making them flow and create something beautiful. But sometimes the violinists squabble amongst themselves, fighting to be designated first chair, or upset because the violin is so small compared to the cello. Or the percussion section flaunts its ego, and tries to drown out the piccolo or the flute. And even though we're supposed to always watch the conductor, we sometimes get caught up in reading the music that we take our eyes off the conductor and find that we're out there on our own, off the beat and sticking out like a sore thumb. Back to the free will analogy, we are following the conductor, but we have free will to take our eyes off of him and look at the notes ourselves. Sometimes things turn out okay - we continue playing and it sounds great. Other times, we're a little bit off, and we miss the timing on the crescendo or we don't see the stop/rest that the conductor has put in.

As to the music itself, who better to lead us than the composer. After all, he knows the song backwards and forwards, inside and out. He knows what's coming next and how it all should sound. Yet we get small glimpses of it at a time - just a few pages at a time, or a few bars at a time. And sometimes God builds in repeats, giving us another chance to display the beauty in a particular piece. If we had all the pages out at once, we would get lost trying to keep up with our place in the song. But sometimes we're impatient, and try to skip ahead, with disastrous results. And other times we need people there to turn the pages for us, to support us so there's no break in the song.

And like any good musician, we need to practice, practice, practice, and keep our instruments in good shape. We can't forget to tune our instruments occasionally, or grease the bow or discard those old, broken drumsticks. It's interesting, when musicians practice, they can dress however they want - no one's watching. Yet perhaps the janitor is cleaning up, or the sound guy is getting the bugs out of the system. So we should still strive to do our best, even in the practice times. We also can't be afraid to practice just because they might hear us, even when we're not ready. The cool thing is that someday all that practicing will pay off, and we'll be dressed and ready to go. We'll all tune our instruments, and fix our eyes on the conductor. And he'll lead us all together in an amazing display of beauty and artistry for the whole world to see. And who gets the ultimate credit in the end? The conductor, of course. What an amazing day that will be. I can't wait.