Life

So it's been a while since I've posted. One month to be exact. The past few weeks have been interesting - everything hit the fan, so to speak, and I kind of lost it for about a week. Do you ever have those not eating, not sleeping, panic in the pit of your stomach feelings? The ones that make you go AGGHHHH!!!! Get me out!!! NOW! kind of feelings? Yeah, I had those about a week ago. They cause me to make some stupid decisions, which I had to go back and fix. And then I forced myself to eat properly again, sleep each night, and pray. Well, not just me,I have to admit it was with a little help from my second family :) You know how bad it was when the thought of ice-cream made me nauseous (I know, it was REALLY bad!)

So what am I learning? God is gracious for one. People are generally more gracious than you realize as well. I'm realizing for all the supposed "matureness for my age" I've been told most of my life, I'm still really really young. And that means I make stupid mistakes and need advisors (but those advisors only help when you listen to them!) Even though I can't think of anyone who would say I'm a selfish person, that I still can be selfish without even knowing it. I'm learning to deal with the consequences of what I got myself into, and knowing that it will be ok in the end, even though the process is insane and painful. Learning that God can use hard experiences in our lives to mature us and make us who He wants us to be. An interesting quote (and I paraphrase) - God wants you to get where he wants you to go MORE than you want to get where he wants you to go. Kind of a cool thought, even if the process makes you want to pull your hair out in the meantime.