Truth in advertising

Some people keep trying to push for truth in advertising. You know, not letting any exaggerated claims or untruths make their way into that little jingle or blurb that gets written to entice you into buying something you really don't need or to hide the true conditions of the item in question. Sometimes though the push for truth in advertising might go a little too far. Case in point:

Original advertisement:

For Rent: Cute, 1 1/2 BR, 1 BA white farmhouse tucked away on quiet country lot. Easy access to major medical center and highways providing access to suburban amenities, as well as a walking trail/bike path. Pleasantly nestled between two large agricultural fields, providing sunset views and scenic surroundings. Street address lends itself to unique and interesting blog titles and nearby pond provides rare glimpse at aquatic wildlife in the midst of suburban neighborhood. Charming plaster walls and original fixtures (including bathtub and doors/doorhandles) lend an aura of reminiscence for days gone by. Large yard suitable for gardening and playing croquet or volleyball. Tenant responsible for lawn care and all utilities except water.


Truth in advertising:

For Rent: Cute, 1 1/2 BR, 1BA white farmhouse tucked away on what seems to be a quiet country lot. It's fortunate that there is a major medical center nearby, as frequent accidents will occur at all hours of the day and night, so be prepared to have 911 on speed dial. This includes major car accidents and wipeouts by 10 year olds screaming bloody murder when they fall off their bike tearing down the hill. Easy access to major connecting routes means that everyone and their brother will know where your house is, and will often comment on such things as - "oh, I was just driving by your house the other day, and noticed you use Dawn dish detergent. Isn't it great?" Pleasantly nestled between two agricultural fields which provide pleasant views, scenic sunsets, and plenty of small rodents to inhabit your house when the corn's cut down, and hundreds of flies in January when they fertilize the fields (not to mention the pleasant aroma that goes with it). Occasional blown power line transformers may set the field on fire, which lends itself to a chance to meet your neighbors and for acquiring new dents in your car.

Street address lends itself to interesting and unique blog titles, and nearby pond frequently floods with heavy rain, thereby blocking your road to through traffic. Charming plaster walls fall apart whenever you try to hang even a calendar, plaster ceilings that crumble when pipes leak, and doorknobs that fall off at every turn are par for the course. A leaking bathtub necessitates replacement of the entire bathroom, as hardware stores don't like to reminisce about days gone by. Large yard suitable for playing croquet and volleyball, except when cars flip and overturn in the middle of the croquet lawn. Better take out extra life and health insurance, because you'll need it when you mow the lawn.

In case you're wondering where to call to rent this lovely villa ~ sorry, but it's already taken :) By two highly intelligent, charming, funny, creative, and stunningly beautiful women. And that, my friends, is truth in advertising.